The Weekly Rhythm #4: Imagine a family culture

Welcome to the Weekly Rhythm!

We’ve been on the topic of a family night for a little bit. Here’s where we shift. What benefit is a family night if we don’t know what to fill it with? This can get a little bit muddy because you’re going to have to take what we’re talking about here and adapt it to your unique family.

I can talk about what my family does all day long but that doesn’t mean it’s going to work for you. Each family looks different. Each family has different values and different contexts for which those values happen. Each family will have different rhythms of life. This is your family culture.

Family culture is what this whole thing is about.

Oxford Languages defines culture as the customs, arts, social institutions, and achievements of a particular nation, people, or other social group. 

A culture will appear whether you are intentional about it or not. Think of it like a garden. Picture a patch of dirt in your backyard. The dirt is dark and rich. The fertile ground is ready to provide growth to whatever grows in it. Something will grow in that dirt, whether your plant it or not.

Now, imagine your family and home like that garden. Something is going to grow there. Habits will grow. Rhythms will grow. Relationships will grow.

Unfortunately, so will weeds. So will the interest of pests and vermin.

There are gardens that have neat and perfect rows with ripe produce on them. There are gardens that are completely overgrown with weeds and shriveled in neglect. The reality is that we will all find ourselves somewhere between these two extremes.

Your family culture is like a garden made up of things you’re already doing. Some parts of that garden may be thriving and some parts may need attention. You know what these areas are. They’re the rhythms that are already in place. Rhythms like church on Sunday, eating together in the evenings, having a family night, turning the TV on as soon as you get home, checking your phone first thing in the morning, how your respond when that button you are annoyed by gets pushed, the way you deal with disagreement or conflict.

In the coming weeks, we’ll talk more about what to do about the family culture and garden. For this week, looking at the culture of your home can give you new eyes to see.

For you to think about this week:

1. Imagine your family and home life as a garden. What do you see growing there?

2. In what ways, positive or negative, do you contribute to the the family culture?

For you to act on this week:

1. Have a family meal at the dinner table this week. As part of the conversation at dinner, ask your family what they would say are some the customs, arts, social institutions, and achievements of your family.

This is an open conversation looking to identify what makes up your family culture. Don’t plant weeds of offense in your garden if something comes up that you don’t like. By taking a look at your family culture, you’ll be in a prime position to start growing. I hope your family conversations thrive!

That’s it for this week! Next week, I’ll share with you some of the makeup of what our family culture looks like to help take this abstract analogy of families, cultures, and gardens into something and see it in action.

Talk to you soon!

~ J.P.

PS: You’ll get to know me more as this newsletter continues. Knowing and being known is a big thing for me. Introduce yourself by replying to this e-mail (it’ll go right to me). Let me know what has and has not worked for you when it comes to rhythms.