A Treasure Chest of Wisdom

Sown in Sorrow

A recent conversation with an older man in the faith was so potent I had to squeeze it into the plans here. Sometimes, you have to go where the map leads you.

I’ll try to obscure his identity by only hitting the essentials. The man is the husband of an older couple of whom my wife and I are one generation behind. They have several children, like us. As we were talking, I made the comment about how fast our kids were growing and followed it up with a joke about how he wouldn’t know anything about that.

He knew exactly what I was talking about. Without self-pitying, he was lamenting about how his children were not walking in the ways they were raised. Some were in better spots than others. His counsel to me was that our children will one day leave our homes and go out into the world, often making bad decisions.

With humility, he looked back into the past and saw two areas he admitted to being a failure in. My ears perked up here because I knew this was going to be loaded with the rich wisdom of non-bitter life experience.

First, he was too open with their computer freedoms. In 2024, we know the interwebs have dangerous corners that are aggressively creeping outward. Think back to 10-15 years ago. The rabbit holes of search engines, chat rooms, social media, and YouTube were more veiled. We know more now than we did then.

Second, and this one was more poignant, was he was not cautious enough about the quality of his children’s peers. He said you can’t make assumptions about kid’s friends, even in church or in a Christian college. He was affirming 1 Corinthians 15:33: Bad company corrupts good character, but realizing good company was not guaranteed in good places.

Out from under our roofs, sometimes the most we can do is pray for them. They had sown and it looks like the harvest is sorrow.

Raised in Power

I’ve got to nuance here because there are fellow fathers I know who get this newsletter and whose children know my children. Please hear me in what I’m about to say: I am not specifically thinking about your child as I write this. That being said, there’s a tall order for all of us.

Our time is shorter than we think it is.

Leading a family is hard and leading young boys is full of challenges. In the destructive wake of feminism, the world isn’t friendly to boys. There is little incentive for them to rise out the current of jellyfish their generational peers. As we’re trying to raise our boys, it’s vital that we have been immersed in wisdom because we won’t be able to give them what we don’t have.

As routine as this is to say, we must be fathers who are regularly reading the Bible and praying. Not out of guilt trips or daily checklists, but out of wanting to marinate ourselves in wisdom. BibleProject says over and over again that the Bible is Hebrew meditation literature. That immersion is how it works on us. Not as proof texts but as a marinade that flavors us, an anvil we’re shaped against, a wooden ship that gives us our sea legs. It is more than mere practice and knowledge that we’re after. It’s what we do with that knowledge that counts.

It’s only by this complete immersion that we can be raised in power ourselves. By that I mean sorrow is not the end of our story. As we begin to seek the fountain of living water to quench our thirsts instead of broken toilets that can’t hold any water (Jeremiah 2:13), we will be raised in an unbelievable power of faith that can withstand any storm our regrets and broken hearts can throw at us.

Further, we have to raise our sons in power. We have to raise them to take on hard things, aim beyond their capabilities so they will stretch into new ones, and grow their skills so they can bless the world around them. Our sons have to be carefully walked with so they do not fall into the ruts of anger, contempt, entitlement, gossip, or laziness.

Will our boys become men who build others up or break others down?

Faith and Gratitude

The sorrow of this man’s story was not the end.

After he told me about his wayward kids and reflected on his failures, his face brightened. He said, “They are now in the hands of a perfect Father who will parent them better than I could.”

He had to give up something but he did not give up on them. He didn’t quit talking to them or interacting with them. He didn’t cut anyone out of his life. He stayed nearby and loved them, was there for them, and helped them. He had to give up his control. That is faith, my friends. That is hope in the redeeming power of God which is defiant against what eyes can see.

His children now had to be trusted into the hands of the Lord.

This is a hard line to walk. I’m not there yet but the day will be here soon. In the days where men and boys are encouraged to take extreme ownership and respond to the high call of responsibility, we feel like we have to do something.

Sometimes, the something we’re being called to is patient waiting. I don’t know about you but it’s too easy for me to slide into being the agent of change. Especially before I take it to the Lord in prayer. Neither you nor I are the Holy Spirit working in the hearts of those we love. We can’t change everything. Sometimes, we have to loosen our grasp on the outcomes we hold so tightly. That doesn’t mean we check out. We can let go yet remain close by.

It’s hard to accept that we aren’t God.

It’s hard to accept that a huge part of our relationship with God, believer or not, is Need-love. We need the love and help and forgiveness of God. If we don’t have the humility to see and walk in that, as needy as we truly are, then we will have a hard time of it. How much gratitude will flow from us if we only have eyes to see what mercies we have? Because if we can see ourselves for who we are if we were to stand in front of God and give an account of our lives, we need all the mercy and grace we can get. Fortunately, mercy and grace are flowing in abundance in the life death and resurrection of Jesus Christ.

So, there’s hope even for us, but only when our hope is not in us. That’s a lot to be thankful for and it’s got me thinking.

Thankfulness may be the measure of where our hearts truly lie.

That’s for another day.

Talk to y’all in two weeks.

~ J.P. Simons

Liked today’s post? Help a brother out and share it with a friend or on social media.