The Rudder of Thankfulness

Shrouded Vision

Have you ever taken the time to think about how complaining affects the way we see the world around us?

Other men have told me that perception is reality. Now that’s not quite true because what we perceive is not always what’s true. There isn’t always a lurker in the house when we hear the floor creak. There isn’t always a Carpathian Count sleeping the sunlight away among the cargo. When a friend behaves out of accord it doesn’t make them out to be an immediate werewolf. However, it is true in the sense that we take action and live our lives out of what we believe.

If I perceive that everyone I come in contact with is trying to sabotage me, no gesture on your part is going to change that. If my eye is full of offense, that plank is going to be so big I can’t see anything else. It’s the lens through which I see. Until my sight changes, my feet won’t follow. An eye of offense is effective blindness.

Reality is what is true but we do not always see what’s true nor are we presented with truth. Many people who are flawed are still trustworthy; however, when the water gets murky and the fog rolls in, our eyes become shrouded to the truth by our perception. We don’t get to define truth and reality. It exists outside of us. My truth is not my truth, your truth is not your truth, and the old “you do you” isn’t going to do anything other than churn out more fog. Or call in the seagulls, as we shall soon see.

You may perceive you’re the worst father in the world but that’s only reality for one person. Sorry to disappoint but given the number of fathers in the world, it’s probably not you. A son may perceive he can’t do anything right, but that isn’t reality because there’s many things he is successful at. We may perceive the cords of Poseidon are stronger than any of our attempts to overcome them, but that isn’t reality because while we do fail at some things we also excel at others.

We can also perceive how mighty, strong, and powerful we are. This is also not reality. We are capable to accomplish more and less than we think we can. We need an illuminated view of ourselves, instead on enlightened one, where we see our strengths and weaknesses for what they are. We need truth and reality. If not, we will be blinded by the fog. If a man or boy is blinded either by praise or contempt, to quote one of my family’s favorite movies, he’s sinking deeper into the guacamole of his own deception.

When the fog rolls in and the waters cloud with mud and detritus, when we believe things that aren’t true, when we refuse to listen to what someone is trying to truthfully communicate to us and twist what they say, we are blind to the truth. We need a ray of light to illuminate the way. We need to see.

What does all of this have to do with complaining? When we only see the faults in people or circumstances, it’s not a full picture. We become blind.

Wrong love for seagulls

Up to this point, we’ve been talking about what some people call navel gazing. We look at ourselves and how good or bad or strong or weak we are. Looking at ourselves, I don’t believe we will ever see clearly.

We have to open our sight glass to its full extension and set our sights on the far horizon. We have to get our eyes set on a different point on the map.

What struck me about complaining being a blinding agent was a couple verses from the Psalms.

Why in the world would God want us to offer thanksgiving to Him? I’ve heard it before. The response is some form of “How is God so weak that He needs my praise in order to be happy?”

To such a response, let’s reason together about the purpose of thankfulness. Consider for a moment that thankfulness is for our good as well as God’s glory.

I shall rescue You and you will glorify me. For the good of one and the praise of another. This is right ordering. Think of it like this. When we’re experts at fault finding or vanity mirrors, that’s like a seagull dropping a greasy dump in our eyes. This is even more pronounced when we cap off our fault finding by saying things like, “I’m just speaking the truth!” Yes, it’s true. You have a load of bird crap in your eye and that’s all you can see. When the gulls have done their work and our vision isn’t clear, we’re in danger of crashing our ship against the rocks.

Wipe it out. Wash it clean. I was blind but now I see. Praise the Lord. If we get proud and praise ourselves for the ability to wipe out our eyes, that’s like heaping the dump back in. Then we’re blind again. Perception does affect what we see, but what our eyes are filled with isn’t necessarily reality beyond our orbital sockets.

I am proposing thankfulness is the tool God gives us to be able to see reality. It’s an interconnected act that ought to make us marvel like we’re seeing the aurora borealis dance over our heads in the night sky. But is it?

When our eyes are cleared with the offering of thankfulness that starts in our hearts and escapes from our mouths, we can finally be ready to navigate the open seas of family before us. Let us love what is true instead of loving what blinds us.

Thankful warfare

Now that we have our tool to remove our blinders, we’re in a pickle of a situation. We’re not the only ones in danger of blind eye syndrome. We all are.

We cannot find a way forward by only seeing what’s wrong with the world. The praise and promotion of ourselves is an opposite but equal navigational error. I’m saying thankfulness is the rudder that will steer us out of blindness and keeping us from crashing against the rocks. Yet, there is even more than navigational value here.

These waters are full of dangers. This is not a mystery. We know there are villains out there. It’s true that Poseidon is raging and looking to neutralize our boys so they become worthless, hopeless men who have little hope but to cast themselves into the sea. Trials and tribulations and pirates and krakens await any who dare to sail into life. Safety is no guarantee and shipwrecks are probable. We can’t fight it if we can’t see.

Many people know the power of gratitude and how it’s a virtue worth cultivating. Let’s take it a step further, though. To whom are we grateful? Practicing gratitude will get us somewhere but not all the way there. To acknowledge the gift, we must look along the beam of light until we are led back to its source. To Him we can offer up thankfulness that we are in a better situation this side of eternity than we deserve. For some, our thankfulness can extend into eternity because of the mercy found on cross 2,000 years ago. If this sounds like Greek to you, ask me about it.

The highest glories belong to God. As we are made in the image of God, we may see reflections of His glory in others. In those instances we are right to point them out but how do we do that? With thankfulness that God is at work. The giant has been slain. The dragon has fallen. Leviathan has been tamed. The girl has been won. The home has been supplied. The garden has been sown.

But that doesn’t totally feel true today, does it? Suffering exists. Relationships get fractured. Our bodies rebel against us. Oh, Poseidon is rattling his trident now but his victory is short. There will be peace in the land. The knowledge of the glory of the Lord will one day cover the lands as waters cover the sea (Habakkuk 2:14). The prophet was able to say this as he was witnessing impending doom from his city wall. With that knowledge and glory given in thankfulness, sight will widespread be restored. In light of the promise, we are right to sing the doxology. In a very real way, worship is our warfare.

We do not have to rage against the dying of the light for the light has not died.

It has won.

Today, let us be men who give our thankfulness to God and show our sons the way of thankfulness to God lest we become willing comrades of seagulls.

The world has enough shipwrecks. It’s time to sail.

Can you see today, brother?

Talk to y’all in two weeks.

~ J.P. Simons

P.S. It’s my goal, by the end of 2024, to help 100 fathers every two weeks with this newsletter. Will you help me get there by sharing it with another father or son today? Every share helps. Thank you!